BEYONDO: Egg Blog

Last night I arrived in Tampa which is my new home for the next week. The long jouney to Australia seems like a blink of an eye in retrospect. The order of events there and back. Laundry is drying, get a call to be at the airport immediately, Winter snow storm, throw entire load into suitcase, catch cab to JFK, Flight cancelled, rebook ticket on competitor airline in order to make connection, 6hour flight from JFK, to LAX, In LA, find out my original flight wasn't cancelled, late night calls to band manager in order to reinstate the original reservation which had been cancelled cause I wasn't on my uncancelled flight, nail biting, placed on hold, helpful counter person, paitence, Stuart Bogie, reservation reinstated, 14 hours to Brisbane, 5 hour flight to Perth, Beers in van, Ben Newby, 2 hour van ride to Busselton, Amaroo Hotel, long awaited shower, Very disorriented, Burping up airplane breakfast lunch and dinner, Night off at the Wombu Festival, free beers and food, back to the hotel.....to be continued.

Life is such a delicate circumstance.
Only the perfect conditions can create life as we know it. On other planets we may not recognize life. because we are so curious to find ourselves or something similar. The mysteries of chemistry will continue to boggle us. Why are we on this planet? What makes us breathe? Why do we become hungry roughly three time a day? I was just standing on a balcony at the ritz carlton in orlando, florida. Looking up at the night sky I thought about the delicate combination of elements needed to come together for life. I also thought about how destructive we can be to ourselves under this condition. People that are in tune with the magnitude of this miracle often rush themselves to death. Blurred by the conditions they call life they drink, smoke, eat the wrong stuff and ignore the
magnitude of the miracle. As far as the hubble can see we don't see ourselves out there. But we are and things are and only a fool believes that we are a the only thing "living" in this universe. Ok gotta eat this burger. Hope you are expanding your horizons!

Have a great night!

Eric

Imagine you are in the retail industry. Whether you are selling tickets or sweaters. You will run into people that are a pain in the ass. For all I know you might be one. If you think you might be one please keep reading. You probably have a weird walk if you are a female you would be taking short fast step, if you are a male your probably stopping alot then walking really fast in intervals. You like to feel a sense of entitlement. LIke you somehow know more or deserve more than the rest of us cattle. See in this world you can be a normal human if you let go of these high expectations. You can resume your pain in the ass tendencies when you get back together with your other pain in the ass friends.
Then you guys can do what ever you want. I can spot a pain in the ass a mile away. It's pretty easy just look for a walking butt hole. From a distance you can see this person probably never felt love on any level. I feel sorry about that that's very sad for me. But if that person could recognize that being a pain in the ass is keeping them from that then I'd be happy.
So if you find yourself asking to many questions you are veering toward increasing the stock value of over the counter pain killers. Listen to the rest of the world save yourself from asking redundant questions and be like cattle in a cattle environment. Otherwise I might have to treat your for mad cow disease.

Have a great day sucka!
Eric

I woke up this first to the sound of 300 elementary children talking to each other about how many levels they beat on the kung fu panda video game. Actually it happens every morning for about an hour. On top of the pre-pubescent hum, there is the principal that speaks with an electronic megaphone. She has a brooklyn tinge to hear voice, although I've never seen her I'm imagining she looks like Fran Drescher. Anyway, my point is there should be a volume tax in this world. In most cases we pay to hear something like a concert or a book on tape. But so many people in this work make annoying inconsiderate sounds on others expense. Myself included! But for fun, lets say you have a yappy little dog that loves to bark every time a little leave blows by the window. You should pay a tax for owning a dog that has barking tendencies. Local governments could set up radar/microphone vans that ride through your hood and anonymously tag you like a facebook photo. Who's in?
I'm just venting!

Have a great day!

Eric

Less is more. Always has been and always will be. One of the biggest challenges in life is to preserve what little we have. Whether it's the earths water or your favorite pair of designer jeans. Splurging on random things is often a side effect of stress. Thank god for stress or our economy wouldn't be doing so well. Sarcasm.
Impulse, Ideas, Inspiration, Involuntary farting, all fall in the same category of fun. Fun equals shopping, living, dreaming, until you wear your dream once and put it in the closet where it ages like tequila, you might even get a worm in it. Most clothing makes nice bedding for street animals. Once I saw an alley cat with a coach handbag in it's mouth. So I followed it into the basement of this building, down the urine smelling stair case, through a maze of corridor into an out of commission pool. It was in a old abandon school. I lit a match to see where I was stepping and kill some of the smell. The tiniest bit of light from one match ignited the kaleidoscope of shimmering feline eyes. I began to feel the tiny warm pulsation of little cat faces sniffing my feet. I guess it wasn't the day to explore the bowels of manhattan with flip flops on. The smell of ammonia was too strong so I back tracked out when I got out, I looked down at my feet and passed out. I'm not sure how long I was out but when I woke there was a blonde model gently wiping my brow with a perfume infused hanky. The was actually nothing wrong with my feet but I had to check for poop. I think I fainted because I was finally getting oxygen again. The model helped me up here name was irene from russia. She took me to her studio where she gave me a flowery tea called hibiscus. I could feel my lips getting redder and redder from the flowery die. So I kept taking bold sips so when Irene returned from the the kitchen she would laugh at my Kool-aid smile. So when came back with two mediterranean tuna sandwiched on pumper nickel rye with a cold claussen pickle and some spicy kettle chips I looked up at her and she giggled and told me I have red all over my face. I said really? After stuffing my face I politely thanked her for her hospitality and let myself out. I was back on track feed and water there was only one way to go from here and that was up!

Have a great day!

Chachi Mulletino

Hmm, I wonder why music is being illegally downloaded. Maybe because radio stations suck so bad.
The flood gates will now need to be forgotten about because the hungry ears are eating for free. It's all about eating. where there is food there is love. food equals love. You always know you are gonna get food at grandma's house. When you're hungry you follow your natural way first depending on your family who for the most part will love you unconditionally and feed you. The same is with music. Artists that you love become apart of your fantasy family. you look up to them for lyrics you can relate to or for a melody that can change the way you feel Like when Michael Jackson passed away. Lots of people felt like they lost a family member. My feeling about music is if you are hungry for music you should be able to get some for free from you favorite artist. Like a family member would feed you.
But if you empty the fridge without throwing some money on the table. You might go to hell.

A friend of mine told me that he's been to hell. I think he said it was like being in a loaded johnny on the spot, dangling over Niagara Falls by a crane with a Richard Simmons audio tape on loop and the headphone were super glued to his ears.

Joking...kidding ha ha ha!!!!!!
Take the old turkey!!!!

Have a great day!

Eric

http://www.ericbiondo.bandcamp.com

Last night I went to bed feeling very pointless. Just another nights sleep. I actually started to think of depressing thoughts. Then I realized I have to be going to bed thinking of positive things. The first thing that came to mind was candy. Probably because it's colorful. Then I thought of the act of praying. I remember as a kid I would say my prayers and include everyone I loved. Then I had an idea, a positive goal, and now I can't remember it, but I started looking deep in the blackness of my mind and see colorful forms that would rapidly disappear. A minute would pass between these occurrences. They were like my dream mechanism warming up. Like a kaleidoscope these colors and shape would remind me that I have some control over my dreams.

As I got closer to sleep I tried to keep my last conscious thought on the tip of my tongue so when I wake I'm not picking up the pieces everyday/starting from scratch.

See if you go to bed with a negative thought you might wake with the same one. You might even live with it for weeks or months or years!

Dream control is away to change your life for the better. You can call me crazy but if you're sick of waking up on the wrong side of the bed try it.

You can start now. Think of a goal that you'd like to achieve. Maybe quit smoking? Or find love? be more open with your feelings?

Now imagine yourself having accomplished that. Take that image to bed with you every night. expand on it. For example you now have a lover, it's your dream come true, now imagine a dream come true for a couple maybe a house and a family. Every single day build this fantasy and it will be come a reality. Plus it's alot more fun than going to bed thinking of your bills and the rash on your feet.

Now a poem

Your rash will still be there
your bills will be too
so pack up your bags and go to the zoo.

run from a squirrel
find a clam with a pearl
Or go to bed dreaming of a sweet girl

Your bath tub is dirty
Your landlord is flirty
You've got can't pay rent written on your shirty

There's poop in your pants
It's making you dance
You must fix the situation before you find romance.

Have a great day!
Eric

I'm sitting on the couch waiting. I was in the bedroom waiting but my computer was in the living room so I had to hop on one foot in order to respect the situation. If i disturb the situation I'll never know the truth. The truth is I'm waiting for an answer. And I think I'm near. I was lying in bed when the center sole of my right foot started to itch. Normally you just scratch it. Not me. I'm gonna wait it out. I'm curious to see if it will just go away or if I'll grow so I'm patient I'll have to scratch the old hoof. I'm fantasizing the reward of dragging my foot on the carpet. But I think i can make it. It seems to be lightening up now. Although it could be an illusion cause now I'm getting an itch somewhere else. It must have been the popcorn shrimp I ate before bed. How good would if feel to put a tight sock on right now. That tight elastic band scraping over my flat foot. The itch is now growing more intense. I really want to scratch it but I'll wait it out. I've tried to distract myself by imagining the itch is on the other foot. But that didn't work. It's been about 20 min since it first started. I think the itch area is expanding slowly. When I look on the bottom of the foot, I see nothing, not even a speck of pepper, shard of glass or raisin. So why is this happening. Maybe if I put my foot out of a car window on the highway I could get some relief. I don't have a car so &*())%$# that idea. Ok i can't take it any more I'm gonna.....nope I can wait it out.

Have a great day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eritch

Paul Williams, Paul McCartney, Stevie Wonder, David Bazan, John Lennon, Jessie Harris, J Dilla, Paul Simon, Sly and the Family Stone, Oren Bloedow, Brian Wilson, George Harrison, Hall and Oats, Prince, Jim Croce, Jimi Hendrix, Salim Al Fakir, Stuart Bogie, Rob Jost, Elton John, Seal, Kip Malone, TV on the Radio, Dave Treut, Regina Spektor, Neil Diamond, Carole King, The Bee Gees, John Stewart, Billy Joel, to be continued....

It all comes down to money. You want, you pay. You can't go into a deli, take a snapple and walk out. If you did you might get caught. If you get caught you'd pay alot more than $2.00. Especially if I was working the register. Just kidding.

My point is that money will always be the scape goat for our problems. The stress of obtaining and preserving a bunch of shit. Shit we barely use. Renting space to store it. But when we go to bed we feel bigger. BIgger is better. That's a very old principle. In the near future with nano technology on the brink. Big shots will be investing in machines that are smaller than a hair follicle and more powerful than a hair follicle.
New machines that are injected into your blood and go through your veins removing blockages from all the fast food you ate while you were stressed out over your bills. I've got a economic stimulus idea. Let's encourage our children to split they're tasted between american made goods and imports. Oh wait american made goods are so hard to find and boring, especially when in comes to clothing. I think another way we could stimulate the economy is by making every high school graduate spend a year or two working in America either on a farm, at a prision, on a dock, at an airport, at a park, etc. the economy starts with community. If you battle laziness like me then you understand the economy. I have to seriously force myself to get things done. Superior motivation, leadership, charisma, worth, duty are key words that help the economy. Just typing them has made me want to go a stimutlate something.

Have a great day,
Eric

Good Morning! I've been trying to dream up a comedy Cd. I can't stand most comedy. I really want to make you laugh. I think I can do it. I've attempted a few times, but as you know comedy is all about the moment. That's why most stand-ups suck. It's a true test of a comics power. You've got to have a core of constantly funny shit. You can't be telling stories that aren't edgy. I think alot of new comics need to do some homework. Study the best like richard pryor and mitch hedberg.
Never imitate an old comic but feel their hunger to blast you with laughter. Feel their courage to make you listen to every word.
They are gonna take forbidden risks. Listen to their recovery, creativity and momentum. I've got some funny stories some true and some fake. You must hear them. I will bring them to you whether you like it or not. I guarantee you will be in tears. I will not put out a CD that wouldn't give me the same joy.
Stay tuned!
Peace,
Eric

Good Morning! I haven't written in a while cause I really haven't been inspired too. But who really cares. Ha Ha.

I realized that this would be a good place for me to discuss how I'm feeling about the trumpet recently.
If you're on this page you know I'm a working trumpet player. I do love my job but it comes with many attributes that can be frustrating and tedious such as maintaining the ability to play.

For those of you who don't know what it takes to play the trumpet, it takes a clear relaxed head, a conditioned nervous system and a concept for sound. I'll explain more about what I'm talking about as we go.

The main reason I'm writing this is to remind my self of a pattern that always happens to me.

With every form of sport or art you go through phases of separation and attachment. The reasons for this are endless. Things like travel, important commitments, fatigue, financial situation, emotional states, distraction or just plain uninterest can effect you as a player.

Whatever the case may be you have to have a plan to get back into shape when the time comes.

I find that the trumpet which operates on the principle of buzzing your lips can be mysteriously predictable. For instance, when you haven't played in a while or consistently, your problems/weaknesses will be amplified figuratively and literally. These are the problems we all have intonation, sloppy attacks(tonguing), lack of endurance, overall bad timing, lack of flexibility, poor sound (possibly a double buzz), poor finger dexterity, lack of style, poor control of dynamics. You get the point.

Now in repairing the problem you can run into many mental frustrations, these are normal. You must see the big picture. Remain relaxed.

The first step in getting back into shape is being able to let the faliure happen. You will be able to play to your inshape ability soon enough.

So for the first two days of practicing after a reasonable break. Take your horn out of the case and imagine you are in the best shape ever even though you are about to sound like a new born elephant with a stomach ache. Pretend you are a clock you just keep moving forward and when the battery runs out, you replace and reset.

Remember all great trumpet players work on the concept of ease. Actually Forget what I just wrote in the last paragraph.

Just play! Play an etude or a improvise freely at a medium volume with an internal sense of time/beat or metronome. Just keep the mouth piece on the lips for a reasonable amount of time. Like one to two minute spurts. For an hour or more....listen to your body as when to stop. Don't get into technique for the first could of days....it's gonna have you thinking to much. On day three....get back into some technique. If you are physically injured.....this is not be the approach to take, if mentally you are thinking too much about your problems this will work for you.

Things to keep in mind over the next two day and forever.
Let the air be natural like talking.
Pretend you are a mildly flexible mannequin, just stand straight up and bring the horn to your lips in like you are eating a piece of cake. Keep you overall body movement down to 1% or less. Move to an internal sense of time swiftly and lightly. Your fingers and tongue are one.

Now with this all said you still are going to sound rusty, but you are giving your body the direction in needs. Like a ninja you are in a relaxed state until called upon to attack. Practicing with minumal movement excessive movement is a good starting point. Monitor any hesitation you may have in breath.
Imagine every note as if you are briskly and catching flys with chop sticks and letting them go on there way. Seriously!

The best trumpet players have little overall movement at the core of there technique. Their positioning of the the trumpet is consitent everytime, there sucessful execution of musical passages, comes from there conditioning of their overall nervous system to back up the slight movements in the mouthpiece.

In the mouthpiece subtle changes in air speed and shape are amplified like the needle on a record player. If you jump up and down on the floor near a record player it will skip. If you jump up and down playing trumpet your a dork. I like dorks.

Your ego will be hurting for a few days but just know that like the gust of wind that moves a sail boat
is in real time, so is your sound. Some sailors maneuver through storms better.

I hope this helps.

One more thought....like a record player the record start from 0 to 33 1/3 rpms. Think about the sound that's created as the record player turns on while the needle is in contact. The better the record player motor the less of a scratching DJ sound you get. That sound is not a bad thing it's just a concept of how a note begins, there will always be a little of that in every note. see how little you can get.

Have a great day!
Eric

Thanks to show produced Lisa Mezzacapa I was able to perform on a very cool radio station that was broadcasting out of a store front next to the whitney museum. Apparently it used to be an old shoe store. My kinda place. The door was open and people were strolling by eating bagels. It was 11am on a saturday.
Please Check out this link for something to listen to when you're buzzing. Enjoy the upper east side air.

http://conceptualart.dreamhosters.com/npr/archives/264

How come it takes so long for the cable company to come fix shit?
Probably because copper wires are expensive. They front the money for the wire so they get to make you wait for a service person to come and trace the wire and make sure the wire isn't broken or tampered with, make sure it goes into the box, then into your room. That seems fair. But when you compare wire to flour how do you feel. A pizza is ten dollars, a pound of copper equals about two miles of wire for a dollar. I might be exaggerating. But how come the pizza delivery person comes ten minutes after you call.

What if your internet/phone went out and a guy came to fix it within ten minutes? I don't think that's unreasonable.

Who like's board games?

Have a great day!

Don't be a Lazy Waster!)

Eric

It's 6:24 am and my sleep schedule is really upside down from all the parties lately. Just before I went to bed last night I was youtubing, when I came across a Teo Macero video. As I scrolled down the comments, I was sad to see mention of his passing away.

I first met my friend Teo in 1999 when his friend/my teacher pianist Harold Danko brought Teo into work with the student ensembles at The Eastman School of Music.
We recorded for three days under Teo's presence.

After our encounter Teo encouraged me to stay intouch.
And I did. When I moved to New York in 2000, one of the first phone calls I made was to Teo. And a week later I was in the studio with him, just as an observer.

Incase you've never heard of Teo,
He's a famous record producer/saxophonist, while working at Columbia Records produce Miles Davis, Duke Ellington, Dave Brubek, Robert Palmer, Charles Mingus, Thelonius Monk to name a few.
The most famous jazz legends.

Teo took me under his wing so to speak, I'd get calls from him, telling me to meet him in the studio, where I get to listen right next to him. His excitement was contagious.

Teo's ears demanded life in your playing. There was no room for mushy tones or bad rhythm. He would swing his arms and yell at you like a lazy teenager. Anything to get those who were jaded reved up.

Teo's love for music was the love all true musicians feel. Teo was smart he knew music inside and out, his compositional skills, knowledge of harmony and rhythm were perfect. He was a Juilliard Graduate.

It's around 6 am that Teo would be up writing music...sometimes I'd wake up early to use the bathroom, I'd pick up the phone and give him a ring, cause morning was his afternoon. I'd say "Morning Teo", and He's always without fail say he was working on some new charts, then he's sing a lick of it. Then he's ask me how my life was and tell me to keep making music.

One time after going for some Chinese Food on the Upper Eastside, we went back to his apartment and he played me some of his new tracks with trumpet legend Lew Soloff, his stereo was from the 70's and he had to mess with it to get both head phones to work, But once it was working, I don't think I've ever heard such a clear full sound coming out of headphones. I think the amplifier was German.

After the music he'd go over the rhodes electric piano and play some strange chords and laugh like a kid at a carnival. There was always a score open on the piano, pencil written, definitely looked like it was written fast but clear.

After my first couple of meetings with Teo, I propositioned him to let me put together a big band that would play his music. He agreed and I began copying his scores for the band. I was 22 working 40 hours a week and I pulled it off. We rehearsed a for about three times at a cheap studio on the east side 1 e.28th st....can't remember name. Soon after we did three shows at Triad Lounge and they were a success.

This is where I get regretful.....
I should have somehow kept that big band going....In my heart I wanted to..but it was alot of work......I just was thinking about how to make money and make my own music..a moment of lost focus......I should have passed the torch to someone I thought could have kept it going.....it's crazy for me to think back on how amazing that would have been.......I have some mini discs of the shows I'll post one soon, just amazing.

So....Teo If you got internet up there, I'd like to say thank you for being so kind an letting me into Maceroland. You've been huge inspiration to me!) Now get some rest cause you got lots more music to write.

Sincerely,

Eric

Flirting can seem very foreign a scary if you are suffering from a low testosterone level, don't quote me on that. Over the years I've met some really good flirters and some really bad ones. One thing the good ones seem to have is a sense of humor about it. Flirting is Fun especially when you get some reciprication. But don't be discouraged if you ain't getting any love.

Here are a few ways to start up a conversation with a girl/guy you find attractive. Keep in mind these aren't supposed to work, but stranger things have happened.

1. Excuse me, you're stepping on my feets.

2. I got a dinosaur in my pocket, wanna see it? just kidding!

3. Your hair and your eye brows make sense with your face.

4. I've been bad will you spank me?

5. Nice dress, can I borrow it?

6. To a pale girl say......Nice tan!

7. Could you proof my suduku?

8. Excuse me, Could I borrow your cell phone cause I lost mine? If she give you hers, call yourself leave a fake message. Thank her. Then go the bathroom call her and tell her you love her and you want to be her husband!

Remember when flirting you want to keep the caught off guard factor to a minimum for the most part. All the right things to say are in the air around you. Think big and act small.

Have a great Valentimes Day!

Eric

Years ago somebody, actually many people said "it's gets harder and harder to practice as you get older".

Well, it's true! So many variables to maintain, simple things like going grocery shopping, doing your laundry, vaccuming your room or returning a phone call. It all takes energy and unfortunatley you gotta do these things.

You may have just gotten back from your job, a gig or whatever you do to pay the bills and you just want to relax and watch some
TV.

So how does one find the energy to keep it up...?

Sometimes it's as simple as a cup of coffee other days you can't even make yourself a cup..you just want to stare at the walls.

Having goals, little ones...is the only answer...slow your pace down...and get your crawl on...it's better than putting whatever you are doing in the freezer.....just chip away until you inspire yourself...aim to grow towards a better you.....talk to yourself...as if you were talking to another person with your exact same problems...listen to what you are saying...maybe even take somenotes......

Life is like a great song...it has it's own balance...the verse is there if you got the chorus and vice versa. We make things harder than they are...most people have enough creativity to
exaggerate any situation to supreme levels of fear...and most of the time it will never be beneficial.

Tell yourself you can get it done!
You can!
You will even if it takes a decade!)

Have a great Day!
Eric

Last night I venturned to out into manhattan to my friend Luke O'malley's (www.lukeomalley.com)
house for some yerba matte. If you've never had Yerba Matte it's like drinking tea made from hay.....!( Definitely a change of pace. Luke's a boisterous, mulit facited man..that could make a pile of garbage laugh he's so damn funny.....we watched Jackass 2.5......check out the King Kong scene!

After that I jumped on the subway and headed for Guitar Center where I bought a replacement pair of Sony Head phones...Mdr-7506...they are
like wearing muffins on your ears...great sound very comfortable.

If anyone has found a pair with a home made eighth inch jack they are mine.......Lost them last month.

Then I went hat shopping....cause I had a couple of hours to kill....before going to see Kneebody! I think I tried every hat in the store on....I ended up with a light tan-red-whitish Kangol stocking cap...

All the hat shopping made me hungry....so I ate at my favorite greek spot in the village....Karava's on 6th ave at w.4th......they have mouth watering cheese steak...but they were out of steak, so I had a burger platter, yes the plate was made of burger...

After that I still had time to wander so I went to The Garage, kinda of a crappy place...as far as an inconsistent.....staff attitude...I got kicked out of there once for being to sober..I think.? The Howard Williams Big Band was on....they were playing songs like A Night In Tunisa or Isfahan....I saw some friends of mine in the trumpet section....Matt Hildgenberg, Colin Brigestock and Dave Smith....they sounded fantastic.

After a glass of Cabernet....I went to the 55 bar where I met up with fellow trumpeter Michael Leonhart (www.michealleonhart.com) for his first Kneebody show (www.Kneebody.com) Every time I Kneebody it's like seeing the next episode of your favorite HBO drama....always in development and perfection simultaneously....highly developed listening skills......a relaxed facade.....rhythmic intonation......I'd like to see this band be the crew for a space shulttle mission....they'd wouldn't even have to talk to each other....they would just all know when to flip there switchs for a smooth and explorative ride....

Upon leaving the club....I bumped into Lew Soloff (www.lewsoloff.com)
world class trumpeter.....I was first introduce to him by my father after listening to Blood, Sweat and Tears Spinning Wheel....He's really nice man.....

I'm refreshed today and hope to practice!

Have a great day!
Eric

Thanks Polly!)

Well it's 4 am in Oklahoma. I was just outside getting a breath of fresh air when I had a thought.

What if we could have a device implanted in our brains that recorded every thought. Then later that night we could upload it into our computer and delete the usless thoughts and ideas. Then with the good ideas we could have this really powerful personal agenda. One driven by emotion and instinct.... Maybe we could even get to a point where we could ask our friends to read over our thoughts. Imagine that.

Have a great day!
Eric